Sometimes the way down, is the way up....

This crazy adoption week started with awesome news on Sunday October 30th that our paperwork had processed and that we could be traveling as soon as beginning of December--YIKES and awesome too!!  I know my heart was racing and my head was spinning dreaming of the first time I would be able to look into her eyes and tell her what I so badly want to tell her.  We also learned that she has officially been our daughter for nearly 2 months!!  That was amazing to hear. 
Then the scary news came.  November 2nd--yes, just 2 days after good news--  There are several families in Congo now picking up their kiddos that went to visit our beautiful baby girl (another praise).  They found her very ill with Malaria--she was exhibiting some concerning signs but so much is still unknown.  We do know she received Malaria medicine--that was a praise in the middle of this craziness.  I spent the rest of the afternoon with my mind in a flurry.  I was overwhelmed.  This was one of the most helpless feelings I have ever had.  My daughter, horribly ill, on the other side of the world, and me here, unable to do what I should be doing as her momma.  This was painful.  I must remember she is in the Healers hands even when I might pretend she is in mine.  I began to worry and then clung to Philippians 4:6-7 my life verse--I just called out to God because I know He knows exactly what will happen, He loves her and He loves us.  He has lead us to her.  I so badly want to believe He would not let anything happen to her.  I so badly want to believe my good God will save her and save my heart.  But I also understand that I know nothing really in terms of understanding His goodness.  I just have to trust Him.  This has been a huge message to me, yet again,  I am not in control of anything on this journey.  I must trust and obey--just like I sing with our girls each morning.  So easy to sing, so difficult to live when you are in a scary moment and you want to believe you have some control.  So my request to anyone who believes and might read this is to pray for our little girl.  We love her so much.  Please pray she is totally healed and we are brought to her in His timing.  Pray for our peace (and patience) and that we can trust and obey.